Eat Your Heart Out
by DeliriantQueer
Summary: The fear of disappointment and not looking quite right; they're all gone with the contents of the bag. She knows then that she can do this, not only for Kurt, but for her. For Blayne. MtF!Blaine, Klayne, Trans!fic


**Eat Your Heart Out**

_A/N:_ Remember that time when I wrote another transfic in a day? And then published it instead of doing homework? And gave in and made it Klayne? So do I.

_Disclaimer:_ I own nothing but the words, and they belong to the English language. I do have a cat, though. His name is Albus and he's in my Christmas tree right now...

Enjoy! x

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><p>The best day of Blayne's life starts with a simple statement. She and Kurt are in her living room on a Friday, trying to plan their weekend. Her parents were to return from their business trip the next day, and Kurt and Blayne needed to go somewhere, they decided.<p>

Kurt's in his usual attire, looking effortlessly fabulous as always, and Blayne's still wearing her clothes from school – the restricting bowties (her misguided attempts at masculinity) and the suspenders.

Blayne's contemplating changing when Kurt looks at her, eyes alight, and says breathily, "How about we go shopping?"

She agrees, always ready to go out with her boyfriend, and she tries to stand up before Kurt's arm catches hers.

"I mean really go shopping." Kurt's expression is serious and his eyes are pleading.

Blayne laughs, though, the throaty chuckle of the boy she pretends to be and says in a gruff voice, "Yeah, I know. I didn't think you were joking about shopping, Kurt. I know you."

Kurt turns to face her on the couch, looking gravely yet softly into her eyes. After a deep breath, he says, "No, I mean... I want to go shopping with you, Blayne. We can go somewhere farther away so we don't see anyone we know, really, I just..." Kurt's eyes turn down, look to the side, and Blayne nudges his leg with hers. "I just want to take my girlfriend on a proper date, okay?"

She looks down as well, wets her bottom lip and bites down, contemplating. "Are you sure?" She's still pretending, and the look she gets shows that he knows - that he wants to see her for her, not Blaine the Warbler and not Blaine the boyfriend.

"Just..." Kurt sighs heavily. "Just let me in, Blayne. Let me see."

The world stops and Blayne coughs, sputters and chokes on her words. Kurt squeezes her arm reassuringly, looks at her with as much love as he can possibly convey at once, and she nods. "Okay. Just - just let me get ready, okay?" She goes to move again, but Kurt, once again, stops her, making her even more nervous than she already had been.

"I, uh... I left you something to wear, possibly. I - It's on your pillow, so..." He trails off and takes a breath. "But it's your choice, ultimately, of course. You don't have to." The end of the sentence is abrupt and Kurt is flushed. The silence that falls over the two of them is heavy and awkward.

Blayne breaks it, quietly saying, "Okay." It's a little bit higher, a little more real. The slight smile that breaks on Kurt's face gives her the smallest boost of confidence, but it's substantial enough. She's not as scared. Standing on shaky legs, she leaves Kurt's warmth, eager to see what she's supposed to wear. The walk into her room is rushed and unsteady.

She closes the door behind her and slumps back against it to catch her breath, tries to catch her breath, but it's gone in a rush when she sees the dress on her bed.

It's olive green and satiny, a modest dress with tiny spaghetti sleeves. She knows it matches her eyes, and by the looks of it, the skirt would fall just past her knees and it flows so, so beautifully. She wants to put it on, to spin around in her bare feet and feel the dress around her legs, but she's scared. Her arms are too bulky and her Adam's apple too prominent. What if it doesn't look right? What if Kurt's disappointed?

She can't just let this opportunity go, though. It's so beautiful, so perfect for the girl she wants to be. She pulls the dress up from her pillow, ready to change in front of the mirror and smiles stupidly. Under the dress, instead of her pillow, is a shoebox and yet another shopping bag. Blayne sets the dress down (carefully, so carefully) next to her and pulls the box, first, into her lap.

She's going to cry, she knows it. She realizes that the second she opens the shoebox and sees them - the strappy golden heels that she's seen in her dreams. She pulls them out reverently, puts one on the floor of her bedroom and hopes to whatever powers that be before trying, sliding her foot in slowly, carefully.

Maybe that's the moment when all of it becomes real. If the shoe fits, if this is working, if Kurt means what he says he means, then this will work, always. And it fits; fits perfectly.

The bag, Blayne reminds herself, is next. She needs to see what's in the bag before she completely loses her composure.

But the bag is what does it, really. The bag makes all of her fear disappear - the fear of disappointment and not looking quite right; all of her fears of looking like a boy in women's clothing like she never wanted to do - they're all gone with the contents of the bag. She knows then that she can do this, not only for Kurt, but for her. For Blayne.

xXx

When she gets back into her living room where Kurt's waiting for her, she's done crying for a moment. She just needs to see what he's going to do. She watches Kurt's face carefully, gauging his reaction. His eyes travel from the floor up - from the Christmassy heels, up her smooth, tanned legs to the flowing skirt of the dress, still swaying a bit from her walking. He sees the off-white cardigan he picked out for her to keep her from the cold, always so considerate, always one step ahead, hiding the muscled arms she complains about so much. He sees the choker, his expert pick to keep her from worrying about her neck. It's a ribbon, so delicate, so perfect, so Blayne. He looks up just a bit more to her loosely styled curls and the little bit of make-up she was daring enough to put on. He looks into her eyes, then, golden-green and shining.

Every carefully constructed idea Blayne has given Kurt about herself is being torn away in this moment. She had always done whatever she could to hide her true self from him. She'd thought that, if she still looked like Blaine, acted like Blaine, then Kurt wouldn't want to leave as much. She could let Kurt be the gay male he was so proud to be, and they could stay together - it was as simple as that.

But now, she sees how naive she was. She sees the pure adoration in Kurt's eyes as he crosses the room to her, and it's clear now. It's clear how much they're designed to be together. Kurt was made for Blayne and Blayne was made for Kurt, without question.

Kurt is the first to speak, whispering down into her ear. "You are so beautiful, Blayne." And the waterworks begin. Blayne's sobbing into Kurt's shoulder, ruining her make-up and his jacket all at once, but his strong arms are all around her.

It's all she can do to whisper a soft thanks into the fabric, and she realizes that it's easy now, talking like she was meant to talk. The words flow better in her higher pitch than they ever do while she's lying to him. He pulls away, wide-eyed and shocked at the voice. He coughs out a laugh, and then just stares after her.

"You're a really pretty girl, okay?" Kurt says. "I'm trying to stop, and I just... say something? I need the full effect because, wow... your voice is so..." he trails off, incredulous. "It's amazing."

Blayne is at a loss for words for a moment, completely and utterly overwhelmed. Breathless, though, she says it. "Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton."

Kurt stares at her blankly for a moment before he bursts out, laughing ugly barking laughs as Blayne giggles. Her voice is higher than his, but the effect is perfect - everything she'd wanted. She remembers Kurt's Junior Prom in a rush and laughs even harder at how the tables have turned, and they're clinging to each other for ages before they can catch their breath.

"Oh," Kurt starts. "Blayne, honey, let me fix your make-up. A girl's got to look good on her first date."

Blayne goes to protest, to remind him of the multiple dates they've been on, but she realizes what he means. This is the first, really. They've never done this; not as the straight couple they really are. She lets Kurt touch up her foundation and eyeliner, listens to his rant about the merits of waterproof mascara halfheartedly. She just feels like a girl, like her, and it's the best feeling in the entire world.

She tunes in in just enough time to hear the end of the sentence, "And you are not listening to me," before she blinks her long lashes up at him, bashfully.

"I'm sorry. I was just..." she weighs her words, "thinking."

He smiles softly and kisses her lightly glossed lips. When Kurt pulls away, he's flushed bright pink, and mutters something that sounds like 'vanilla.'

"I'm sorry, what?" Blayne asks sweetly.

Her boyfriend blushes even brighter. "I just like you like this. I like it when you're you, and I really like that you taste that way – we should definitely go, now, because we'll be late for our movie."

Blayne is confused for a moment, wants to ask 'what movie' before realization dawns on her. He had an outfit, movie tickets, and if what she sees is any indication, that winter coat and purse that he's holding seem to coordinate perfectly.

"How long have you been planning this, Kurt?" Her voice threatens to drop an octave into her other voice, but she will _not _let that happen and she sure as hell can't start crying now.

But Kurt simply swoops back down for another taste of her vanilla-flavored lips and chuckles in her ear, embracing her, pulling her tight.

"We have a long car ride ahead of us."

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><p>Tell me your thoughts! Feelings always welcomed. 3<p> 


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